I think that most people who grow up in a particular church and remain there as adults can relate to the process of breaking away from the image of the kid in Sunday School and starting to be seen as an adult. It can be even more pronounced when a) your family is involved in ministry and/or leadership throughout your life, and b) you end up in leadership roles within the church yourself. It may be the worst for PKs (Pastors’ Kids), but even for those of us whose families are in lay ministry, it gets kind of complicated at times.

That process is something that I’ve gone through, with varying degrees of angst, since I was in high school. There are people there who remember when my mom was pregnant with me, and there have been times, when I’ve been in a leadership role over certain people, that have been kind of difficult, but it’s part of the life cycle of ministry, and we all work through it in one way or another. We find our place, and in 20 years or so, the cycle will repeat itself.

One thing that I’ve been grateful for over the past few years is the natural turnover of staff. While there are many people in the church who have known me forever, no one on the pastoral staff has been at the church for longer than 10 years or so, meaning that they have, at the very least, only known me since high school. My parents have always been (and still are) very involved in the church, in many different ministries, but I’ve managed to make my own mark, spending a few years on staff in the children’s ministry department, working within the youth ministry, teaching Sunday School, and helping to develop the theatre arts ministry. Even though I was in New York for a year and have been in L.A. for the past two, I’ve kept in touch and stayed involved in some way or another.

My transition has been made easier by a number of people over the years, including the worship arts pastor, who has only been there for 4 years. He didn’t know me as a kid or a teen, and has only known me as a professional — someone who is actively pursuing a career in the arts. He came to the church right around the time I moved to New York, and so I’ve really only worked directly with him for the year back in Calgary in between New York and L.A. Colin has actually worked with him on more projects than I have, which is, in my opinion, a really cool thing. It’s kind of great that there’s someone in the church who has a stronger professional relationship with him than with me, because for most people, that’s not the case.

I love the fact that Colin has carved out his own niche within the church, being involved in productions and projects while I’ve been in California (and even while still directing the choir at his “other” church). He’s gotten to know people without the direct context of my family, and he’s become a valued part of the church family of his own accord, as well as because of his relationship to the Anderson clan. I got him involved just before we started dating, asking him to be the sound designer for a show I was directing, and that was the last show I did before moving to L.A. — but he’s done every show since then.

In any case, all this is to say that several months ago, Colin and I came to a decision: When I move back from L.A. permanently (in December), this will be our home church. For the past few years, we’ve been splitting our time between two (three, if you count my church in California) churches, and that’s not fair to anyone. It’s time to be in one place, to be in the same place, and to build our place in the church as a couple and as our own family unit, connected to, yet separate from, the Anderson family unit that I grew up as a part of.

I’m excited to see our place in the church, in the arts, in the worship ministry develop. We come at it from a place of significant legacy, both in that particular church family and in the church as a whole. We both come from families where ministry involvement is not an option but an integral part of life, and as we take that seriously, it’s easier for people to get past the fact that they remember my childhood. As I take the work and the ministry seriously, it reminds people that I do know what I’m doing, and to be honest, there are a lot less of those hurdles to jump now than there were when I was 17 and just starting to take a leadership role in specific areas of ministry.

Even now, before we’re married, we’re being recognized as a couple that can have an impact. People are starting to see us as ColinandAlida, whose skills and artistic training complement each other and make a difference in the church, not Alida, the Andersons’ daughter, and that guy who hangs around her all the time. Gotta say, I like being half of “ColinandAlida” better than just being my parents’ daughter — or even than being my own, individual part of the church family in my own right.

Growing up in the church is an amazing thing. Being in the same church I grew up in is also an amazing thing. There’s a sense of being connected and a knowledge that what I do goes far deeper than me; that it’s rooted in a history that’s so much longer and richer than my little part of it. I love being in ministry in the place that nurtured me, nurturing others.

Maybe someday it’ll be time to move on. Since we’re not planning to stay in Calgary forever, I guess that means that someday it will be time to move on. In the meantime, I’m excited about where we’ll be.

Tags: Career, church, leadership, work-life balance

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